Christi Harris EYE DECLARE!

EYE DECLARE!

Christi Harris

“Whose Eyes are These?” you may ask when hit with morning mirror madness. No matter what ISSUE you are facing with your EYES, Christi Harris Beaute’ has the SOLUTION! 

Dehydration ●  Lines & Wrinkles ● Dark Circles ● Droopy ● Puffy ● Bags ● Stained Eye Lids

Oh, look ..one more thing we can blame on our mother! Not exactly, but we can give credit to our familial & ethnic origins for many of the concerns surrounding our aging eyes. 

There are many more contributing factors such as:

Latent Sun Damage   ~   Allergies   ~   Lifestyle   ~   Stress ~  Diet  ~  Sleep Habits  ~  Resting Positions  ~  Lymphatic Circulation  ~  Overall Health  ~  Skincare Regime

Even an Unsupportive Pillow Could Be Adding to Your Woes!

Beautiful News, CHicks! We can remedy or camouflage any of the most common complaints surrounding our most expressive facial feature. I will share my four decades of wisdom plus pitch a few home remedies for your discovery.

Because we address many frustrations here, this one’s an epistle. We’d love for you to read every word, but if you’re in a hurry, skip ahead to the issues you are facing to get the 411 on what’s bugging you!

A FEW NOTES TO PREFACE THAT WILL APPLY TO ANY AND EVERY TECHNIQUE I WILL SHARE WITH YOU TODAY …

SKIN CARE: Consistent, proven skin care is critical to skin health, regardless if face or body. Let’s assume here that you are on board with the concept. If you are already a CHick, then the following routine will not take you by surprise. If not, then we invite you to the henhouse …

EYEBROWS: If your eyebrows are not Precision Perfect, please join us at our Dallas Beaute’ Center for our 3D Brows & Eyes Workshop. Call us to chat about schedules and availability.  Change Your Brows … Change Your Life! This is For Real. CHicks, perfect brows are a game-changer!

BLENDING 101: When applying any product on portions of your face to cover or conceal, the only way to achieve a truly natural, no-line, soft and flawless canvas is to utilize (1) Second Skin (Primer) and (2) Face Erase or your personal skin undertone Crème (Oil-based) Foundation with color-match perfecting Liquid Tint.

(1) and (2) are BOTH complete, physical sun blocks that, when applied over my CH Moisture Lotion, will lock precious hydration in your skin for up to 12 hours.

DEHYDRATION:

The thin, delicate skin around our eyes is unlike any other on our body. It begs for moisture and protection. We simply MUST treat it with love & respect!

AM:

Cleanse with Mint Wash

Apply Freshener

Apply Hydradermal Intensive Lift (Anti-Aging Serum)

Apply Moisture Lotion

Protect with (1) Second Skin (Primer) & (2) either Face Erase or Crème (Oil-based) Foundation

PM:

Thoroughly Remove Eye Makeup with Eye & Lip Makeup Remover Pads

Cleanse with Cleansing Lotion

Apply Freshener

Exfoliate with Honey Almond Exfoliant

Apply Hydradermal Intensive Lift (Anti-Aging Serum)

Apply Moisture Lotion

Protect with Night Crème, then Eye Crème/Lip Balm  

This peeper prep will plump and hydrate the skin,

making it oh-so-much happier and healthier. 

ESSENTIAL CHRISTI HARRIS SECRET WEAPONS 


THE 
TOWER OF POWER

CH CLASSIC EYES for LINES & WRINKLES

Alleviating dehydration is the first line of defense to combat those lines & wrinkles. Using concealers, neutralizers, and highlighters are your reinforcements.

Choose Smile Smoother, Blue Neutralizer, Green Screen and Eye Lift Highlighter to balance and camouflage the creepers at your peepers.  It is important to not over-blend these products. Refer to BLENDING 101 above. Apply Eye Perma Stay to eyelids to even skin tone and keep shadows from creasing day to night.

Smile Smoother: Fills creases, wrinkles & lines, and provides amazing lift!

From temple to hairline, apply underneath the eye with Crème Contour Highlighter brush and pat/press into place. Do not over-blend!

Blue Neutralizer: Using color wheel principles, cancels blue/purple discolorations.

Apply in the darkest (bluest) areas. Pat/press to blend. Do not over-blend!  

Green Screen: High Definition base to diffuse lines, brightening the area for fantastic lift and the look of well-rested, youthful eyes!

Above the brow, at temple area, overlap Smile Smoother slightly and pat/press to blend. Do not over-blend! Keep applying and blending until you notice the area lifted and brightened.

Eye PermaStay: Crème-to-Powder formula neutralizes redness, fills in tiny lines, smoothing the eyelid for total sun protection and day shadow wear.

Apply with Crème Contour Highlighter Brush and gently, with your ring finger, press to blend over entire upper eye lid, lash line to brow bone.

Once all concealers and neutralizers are in place, lock with Setting Powder and Chiseled Powder Brush. Load the brush with powder and lightly tap off excess. Only once, in a single downward motion, gently brush onto each section of your face. Do not fret when neutralizers and highlighters are still visible. Once set, and the remainder of your makeup is in place, load the Finisher/Blender Brush with Finishing Powder. In a swirling motion with medium pressure, blend all to a flawless finish.  

Eye Lift Highlighter: Using tip of the Crème Contour Highlighter Brush, apply Eye Lift Highlighter directly under your lower lash line, patting to blend. This will create a well-defined eye.

                                              CHick TIPS

Thin slices of chilled, real cucumber placed on eyes for 15-30 minutes while resting with head elevated will naturally reduce wrinkles temporarily.

If that isn’t you behind those Foster Grants, grab a pair. Sunglasses serve not only as a fashion accessory, but moreover, as protection against the sun and squinting, both which contribute to lines, wrinkles and discoloration.

This is a broad subject because Dark Circles come in all colors; brown, blue, purple, or some combination of all three.

The key here is countering the discoloration. I formulated my Blue Neutralizer, with its noticeably sienna hue, specifically for the job. It may look ‘orange’ in the pot, but this is actually by design. On the color wheel, orange is opposite blue and purple, hence the neutralizing properties. In conjunction with Smile Smoother, this technique will banish darkness and provide the perfect lift. 

Using the Crème Contour Highlighter Brush, press Blue Neutralizer onto the eye area wherever you see darkness. Do not over-blend, but do lightly pat/press away any harsh lines of demarcation with your ring or pinkie finger.  

Using tip of the brush, apply Eye Lift Highlighter directly under your lower lash line, patting to blend. This will create a well-defined eye.

Blend Green Screen as in CH Classic above.

DROOPY:

Just as so many of our other pieces & parts, as we age, our eyes can head south. 

The best remedy for this wayward turn is proper skin care, abundant hydration and Smile Smoother, Green Screen, and Eye Lift Highlighter!

Refer to “LINES & WRINKLES” for proper placement.

PUFFY:

Nothing like waking to find Sir Puffinstuff has moved in overnight. One proven way to reduce the appearance of the puff is to visually recede the area with Blue Neutralizer and bring forward the void with Smile Smoother at the outside perimeter where it appears sunken against the inflated area. 

Another cause for puffy under eyes is the presence of a ‘fat pad’. During the aging process, fat naturally occurring in our face either diminishes or redistributes, resulting in either a puffy appearance, or a hollowed/sunken effect. If fat collects under the eye it will most definitely look like a puff, but will not deflate regardless of your efforts. Highlighting and contouring as noted in Dark Circles above will reduce the appearance; however the only way to free yourself of the fat pad, sadly, is surgically.

                                            CHicks TIPS

Be careful not to mix alcoholic beverages with high sodium foods. If you’re getting your ‘wine’ on, refrain from the traditional bar snacks such as peanuts, pretzels, chips or bar mix. These alleged ‘booze-buddies’ are, in fact, NOT your friends! Should you stumble, over-indulging in slosh and snacks—no judgement, we’ve all done it—take these simple steps to protect yourself from tomorrow’s hard-night-nods. (a) Drink 32 ounces of purified (or even better, alkaline) water before and after retiring. The extra hydration will counter yesterday’s oopsie.

Make cool compresses with cotton rounds and ice water. Place on eyes for 10 minutes with head elevated to alleviate minor puffiness.

If you have an adjustable bed, slightly raise the head two or three clicks to elevate your head while you sleep to reduce puffiness. Investing in a high quality pillow with great support can also do the trick!

Eye Bags are somewhat misunderstood, often confused with Puffiness. An Eye Bag happens when the top of the cheekbone meets the orbital socket to create a crater. This is very common among our CHicks with pronounced cheekbones. If you can pack a weekender under your eyes, read on!

Using the Crème Contour Highlighter Brush loaded with Smile Smoother, draw an upside down moon shape directly into the hollow between the cheekbone and the orbital socket to visually raise that area. Very lightly blend keeping the lighter color visible.

STAINED EYE LIDS:

Stained Lids appear to have eye shadow when they are squeaky clean. Stains are primarily hereditary; however some medications can cause staining as well.

Eye PermaStay is the answer to neutralizing the discoloration. Using the Crème Contour Highlighter Brush, sweep Eye PermaStay over the entire lid, from brow bone to lash line. Pat/press this crème to powder primer to not only counter the stain, but also keep your eye makeup crease-free and in place day to evening. For placement illustration, refer to CH Classic above.

As always, we are here for you! Reach out to me with your Beauty Frustrations and I will give you a proven SOLUTION. At Christi Harris Beaute’, it’s just what we do …

CHicks Helping Other CHicks!

3 Down & "NOT" Dirty Skincare Rules You May Not Know

 

When it comes to solving our beauty frustrations we think we may need a trip to the Doctor to see how to fix something or an extra pay check each month to help with all the extras. Beauty shouldn't be this frustrating or difficult. Everywhere we look we are promised the answer to our biggest questions and never get the answers...and so the search for beauty in a bottle continues.

We are surrounded by information with magazines, books and we see perfection on TV...but we also live in a society that gives a lot of misinformation, from social media, friends and unreliable theories that are based on the dollar not fact.

In 1974, after seriously studying the biology of how skin works, I noticed nothing existed in the beauty industry that truly helped solve women's frustrations because nothing out there was produced to actually work with the biology of skin. So, I created my own skincare treatment that is entirely based on the skin's function from the way it needs to be cleansed to the only way we can truly hydrate our skin, no matter the skin type. (i.e. dry, oily, combination) If we follow the biology of skin anyone can have balance. My treatment has never been reformulated and nothing has been added to it in 40 years because the way skin functions hasn't changed, so why would a product that works change?

Here are 3 questions I answered for the viewers on "Ask Christi to Fix It", along with more detailed info everyone needs to know for their skin.

1. How should I take my eye makeup off and if I don't wear makeup one day what should I do?

CH:  Whether you have applied anything to your eyes during the day or not, you must cleanse your eyes the same way.

FIRST...
We all produce natural oils during the day. The oil that has set on our skin at the end of the day has to be removed, otherwise the oil is a barrier and doesn't allow moisture to be replenished back into the skin.

SECOND...
Eye Makeup can crease much more the next day if the eye is not cleansed and the natural oils removed.

THIRD...
Eye lashes need to be conditioned. After a day of build up of mascara and natural oils our lashes take a toll and should be conditioned to keep them strong and healthy.

The only way eye makeup and natural oils should be removed is with another oil that does not leave a trace of oil or makeup on the skin. I know I know, oil, most people have been told not to use such things but it is actually the only thing that helps to remove eye makeup and natural oils without harming the delicate skin around the eyes or our lashes. NEVER use soap, a tissue or wash cloth to cleanse this area. Soap and water is too harsh because it takes rubbing to break down the makeup, which can then pull, scratch and dry out the skin and cause lashes to fall out. Tissue should never be used anywhere on the face simply because it is made from wood pulp which scratches the skin. Oil delicately breaks down the makeup without harming the eyes, lashes, or skin.

Think about this, what do you usually use to remove your eye makeup and lip color? Most women tell me they use a tissue because they don't want to put their lip color on a wash cloth, which is generally an alternative in most cases. And I bet, like most women, you probably remove eye makeup with a water based remover, baby oil, light soap or cleanser. That is just something we have been told to do and don't know any better so we continue to use them right? Well, now you can know that baby oil is made with a mineral oil that is not a cosmetic grade and allows for build up and can suffocate the lashes. Soap leaves a ring around your bath tub so what do you think it does to your skin. Most soaps contain wax, don't be fooled into thinking that any type of soap with wax won't build up on your eye area and lashes...it will. If you use any of these methods ask yourself this...is the skin around my eyes drier then the rest of my face, are my lashes sparse or does there seem to be skin build up around my eyes? If you answered yes to any of these it could be because of your eye makeup remover. Don't worry I can fix it.

My Eye/Lip Makeup Remover Pads are goof proof and are formulated especially for the eyes. They are great for the skin and lashes. One pad simply melts away any trace of eye makeup or lip color without pulling, rubbing or scratching the skin and lashes. The pads are 100% cotton so they won't irritate the eye area, leave oil build up and they condition the lashes. Even contact wearers can use them. Sometimes we keep using the same things because it is the only option or we simply don't know.

2. I have used all kinds of products to exfoliate my skin. Some have really irritated my skin and then I feel dry. Some seem to burn and then it peels. Help me!

 CH: Okay...think through this with me girls. Have you used all kinds of products to exfoliate your skin with or been so desperate as to try a facial peel? There is no need to take it to this extreme. It only plucks your pocket book and plays havoc on your skin. Have you ever been told why you need to exfoliate? If you have they probably told you to exfoliate once a week, not true, we will get to that. Has your skin ever become irritated after using an exfoliant or feel as if it has been burned after having a facial peel? I have known so many women over the years who think they are doing the correct thing only to end up with skin that looks like their great grandmother.

Without confusing everyone more...let me explain why these methods don't work for women.

How many of you know there are only a few ways to wash your pots and pans? What does this have to do with exfoliating skin, stick with me. All dish washing soaps have an oil base to break down the oil on the pan, no trace of oil is left...right? If you haven't burned something then you can use a sponge to cleanse it, BUT if there is build up or something has burned on the pan you have to use a Brillo pad or something harsh...right?

Well skin is similar. We get over 10 billion dead skin cells daily. That dead skin builds up, along with makeup, body oils, dirt, etc., every day that we don't exfoliate. Then we can get acne, dry patches, uneven skin tones and so on. So many skin problems can be caused by dead skin build up. It is imperative that we remove those dead skin cells each day, that's right EVERY DAY, not every 3 or 4 days, but DAILY. I can't stress this enough. Think about if you don't let it build up, like on the burned pan, then you don't have to use such a strong product to take the build up off. Just this one step can keep you from becoming irritated. When I formulated my exfoliant I knew it needed an antibacterial, natural agent. Honey, being pure and natural was perfect it is also a daily tightener for the skin.

Most exfoliants on the market are very abrasive and use chemicals, and they need to be since they tell you to exfoliate only once a week. Those exfoliants are trying to do the job in a day and remove several days worth of skin build up and surprise they don't remove it all, at least not without scratching or burning the skin. That is why sometimes when you put moisturizer on after you exfoliate you feel very dry or it burns. Long term affects of harsh chemicals used by millions of women are showing damage and aging of the skin. There is simply no need to use those types of products if you are not letting the dead skin collect.

I didn't want to use anything abrasive with ingredients that would scratch the skin and could be used daily. The honey acts as a cushion for the almonds to gently polish the skin, leaving no irritation. Skin naturally generates new skin cells every day. Yes, it is daily maintenance but you only get one face.

This method and step by step process I found that works will never change. I said it once and I'll say it again, the skin will never change the way it functions so why change the products. The Honey and Almond Exfoliant is so gentle on the skin to remove only one days dead skin (the 10 billion) using the polishing/tightening formula, with no barrier built up your hydration will be significantly increased when you apply the moisturizer, after exfoliating, and then seal in with Night Creme to lock in your moisture. Therefore you don't need a strong chemical to lift the dead skin off the face.

I would never suggest that women get a facial peel or use products with fruit acids which are referred to as alpha hydroxy acids. A simple product like the Honey and Almond Exfoliant polishes the skin as it removes any trace of dead skin for that day. It saves your skin and your wallet. Think about it...why would you still need to go get a facial peel or even a facial? There would be nothing to remove. And...if your skin ever peels it is only because the skin was burned with a harsh chemical. Skin doesn't peel on it's own.

Do this personal test with me. I am sure you have some scotch tape in your home. Take a strip of the tape and place it down onto your arm. Press it on your skin and then pull it off. Yikes! Look...see how much dead skin build up you have. Imagine how it would build up over three days on your face, especially when exposed to the outside elements.

The reason I am so big on education is when women understand why they should do something a certain way they benefit and something so small can make a huge difference.

3. Summer is coming soon and I perspire a lot. Sometimes the moisture even beads up on my nose and under my eyes. My skin feels dry though and even flakes more in the summer than in the winter. Any advice would be appreciated.

CH: The reason you feel dry is you are losing a great deal of moisture during the day and not putting it back at night and locking it in. Also, if you are not exfoliating every night that dead skin is like a band aid...keeping the moisture out so it won't go into your skin...then your skin becomes dry. You must cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize and seal your moisture in every night with the oil based night creme.

There are no potions in lotions that the skin recognizes other than water and oil. The human body will only respond to less water or more water. REAL SIMPLE. So why do people try to make it so complicated, I will never understand. When we understand the order to feed the skin with water or oil based natural products it fixes itself. First we have to understand how the skin gets dehydrated which causes skin irritations, dry or oily, acne or rosacea, it is all treatable and can be balanced.

I hope this has helped anyone who has ever wondered about these common issues and if anyone ever has questions feel free to ask. Skin health and education have always been my passion that is why I have dedicated my life to helping women overcome their frustrations and give people the facts because the more we know the better decisions we can make.

When Love Is Not Enough, Part 4 - New Beginnings

Girls, here is the final chapter to the story. If you haven't read Part 1 & 2 of the story scroll below to read them. Follow my friend as she shares her final chapter.

New Beginnings...

When Christi asked me to write on her blog, I was so excited and thought it would be as easy as eating a large piece of Italian Cream cake. Well, now that I am working on the last blog, I find that I am experiencing great difficulty getting my thoughts out of my head.

I will tell you that my life is going great at this time. My children are grown, living in the area and I have four magnificent grandchildren. In 2004, I married again and we remain in love and enjoying a happy marriage. I have retired from Corporate America and work with him part-time in his/our CPA firm. My life is finally in a good place so going back in time is quite a difficult process.

It is no understatement that a divorce leaves one in an emotional yo-yo and wondering if life will ever bring any happiness again. With time and healing, the heart recovers or can recover. Unfortunately, there are other misfortunes that can occur in life that can leave other scars, and more unexpectedly, deeper scars. I would like to say that we are moments in time where no method to the madness of traveling along life's journey makes any sense or leaves us feeling like a "used up paper towel".

I am going to backtrack a few years and I will just get started telling you about the other traumatic experience in my life --- On April 29, 1998 at 5:13 pm while stopped at a red light, a 16 year old boy, (while speeding about 50 miles per hour) hit the left side/rear of my new car of three months; air lifting and trapping my car under a very large truck that was in front of my car. Since my car went under the truck, the air bags in my car did not deploy. However, I did not learn that until later because after the first impact and seeing only the back lights, glass and car parts fly beside my hear, I remember nothing until...

Let's just say, emotionally I have been to h-e-l-l and back (divorce) and spiritually I have been to heaven and back - literally. I remember an angel in the car with me and then the next thing that I remember is that I am watching myself on the street being revived by paramedics. This is commonly referred to as "an out of body experience" by the psychological professionals. Next, I recall an overwhelming feeling of love and peace. I was somewhere "out there" being suspended in time and I was becoming more aware that I may not want to go back down to that place where my shell of a body was laying on the street.

"It is not your time yet", was the next words that I heard spoken in the tiniest and quietest of voices. Soothingly, I felt my spirit slipping back into my earthly shell. I could hear the paramedics repeating over and over, "Please come back little lady. Do not go back, stay with us." There were two paramedics working on me and I wanted to speak to them and tell them that I could hear them, but I could not move or speak yet. It felt as though I was separated from them by a bubble of glass and as if I was watching them from someplace other than where I was. If I tried to move the glass and as if I was watching them from someplace other than where I was. If I tried to move, the glass would prevent me from reaching the paramedics. Once, the paramedics realized that I was finally "back with them", I fell in and out of consciousness. I was transported to an emergency room and the next year of my life was spent in and out of rehab, hospitals, etc. I was told that I would never be the same and was sent to Near Death Counseling, Change Of Life Counseling, and Pain Management Counseling. I had to learn to walk again and learn to give up many of the daily events of my life that I loved.

With time, I could write a diary or a book, but to avoid all of the details that really depress me, I now survive on four different medications and was left with brain damage, brain stem damage, and a neurological issue in my neck. All of which has left me with paralysis on the left side of my body and doctors are amazed at why I am able to walk as well as I can. Do not be so amazed because I do suffer more than I let on and must receive a lot of rest and recuperate daily from activities that an average person gives very little thought about. 

One might ask, how is all of this possible? Honestly, I have no answers for that question. This is what I know. God is real, He has a Son named Jesus Christ who came to earth to save me from my sins. Is it possible that he could send an angel to protect me from whatever could have been worse in an auto accident? Well, who am I to question His mighty miracles. Is it possible that He has blessed me and others with abilities that bewilder the medical community? Well, who am I to question His mighty abilities. I also know that He has given to each of us a measure of Himself to be able to survive the world that we live in. Who am I to question any of whatever or to whomever that He chooses to bless with a measure of who He is.

This is what I also know. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all of your strength and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways , acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." In Psalms 91, David writes about angels that watch over us and are here to protect us. Please take time to read this chapter, it is an amazing encouragement. And finally, Romans 8:28 teaches is that, "All things work together for good for those who love Him, to them who are called according to His purpose." 

I live life looking at the present and what I remain able to do and achieve versus looking to the past and harboring ill will toward others or events in my life. I want the future to be bright and sunny when I get there. I take care of the present to ensure the future is what you want it to be. Also, I do not have all the answers, but I sure can learn from what I have experienced and maintain life in a way that reveals truths of life that have been proven to endure the age of time and man's earthly endeavors.

Perhaps this was all about the end of a false persona, the new beginning into the true introspective of who I really am, and the introduction of the true and real person. To say it in the truest sense, I am HOME.

I would like to thank Christi for allowing me to share my life's journey and experiences. As women, we are a masterful creation in God's own image and not one of us deserves to have anything in life other than the best. This is what God desires for us. I know not what the future holds for anyone, but my experiences in life have taught me to say with all rationality and justification that the only way to a propitious life is to seek the Master and Creator of the world we live in. I think that I will close with this. He is the Reason, the only Reason and nothing but the Reason.

When Love Is Not Enough, Part 3 - Light Attracts Light

Girls, Here is Part 3 to this story. If you haven't read part 1 & 2 of the story scroll below to read them. Follow my friend as she shares her heart warming story.  Enjoy!

Light Attracts Light...

 by anonymous

It has been exceedingly difficult for me to identify with my emotions and feelings experienced during a very traumatic era of my life. Despite my attempts, I am now unable to recognize "that person" whom I am struggling to accept was actually myself. Glimpsing at who I was then versus who I am presently is synonymous to knowing twins with night and day personalities. With this in mind, I will do my best to convey the reality of those days. In spite of the fact that I began a new life and, in the opinion of many, was experiencing success or had arrived at some degree of significance in the world, there were so many depressive moments and feelings of inadequacy.

-->

"It is well with my soul", a wonderful song that resonated in my mind over and over during many of the worst difficult days. It happened while sitting in an auditorium in a very large church. The words of this song mounted in my mind like coal on a fire. My heart desired so desperately to have a "right of passage" into happiness. I needed to be well in my soul. Being totally distraught by my situation, as I described in "When Love Is Not Enough" and "Strength in The Olive Jar", I realized that I could not continue with life in my present mental state and emotional stress. With tears flowing down my cheeks, I surrendered my life totally and autonomously to God. I gave him my children, my situation, and my heart. And as I left church that day, I knew that my life would never be the same.

Of course, I employed the services of therapists to help and assist me with all of the "stuff" that I was dealing with. There are most likely better words to use than "stuff", but I think you know what I mean. It is that darkness deep within that is so disdainful and contemptuous. That which is not acceptable socially or morally with others. Let's just say, it is better to keep it well within, hidden and out of sight of the real world. Amongst those who have arrived or dealt successfully with their inner demons and defeated and overcome their attacks, those who continue to be dealing with a darkness within, are considered to be unacceptable or damaged. So, unknowingly, hurting people attract hurting people. Unless pain is allowed to heal, the cycle of pain begins again. 

However, I was blessed to have a stubborn personality. I developed an inner core of strength and integrity. Life was good and I was determined to be a positive member of society. So I practiced all that was good. In my life, this consisted of becoming an active member of my church and living the life of a committed Christian. Being a lady and all that being a lady meant. Praying, reading the Bible, attending Bible Studies, and of course, being a great employee to my employer.

By 1993, while working two jobs and forging through life with an insatiable effort to succeed, I obtained a Degree in Accounting. Consequently, work had become my "husband" and aside from love of time with my children, it was the only other effort that appeased my desire for happiness. From a careful observation of my life, work awarded me with approval and acceptance. Continuance of my existence in life was based on these two conscious exertions. However, I was prolonging the inevitable truth that life was meant to be "more".

"More", "well with my soul"?? How does one accomplish these life achievements? And what exactly does it all mean? How does one know when they have it? How does one continually progress into contentment and a well-adapted life? So many questions to be answered and the time between dawn and dusk prove to be just a minute in the lengthy quandary of life. In short, time was little and demands on that time were many. The answer within each of us. To say is poetically, we all have our own ship to sail.

The important and necessary task is that people must follow their own heart. Learning to know our Heavenly maker in a way that no other person can damage another person's inner core where God exists and live to rule. When He lives within us in this manner, there will be no darkness, only Light. Light to guide us and protect us from any damaging influence in our lives.

John 8:12 "I am the Light of the world. Anyone who follows me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life."

John 1:9 "The true Light who gives Light to EVERYONE."

Occasionally, it is our inclination to believe that due to our present or past circumstances that Jesus is for everyone else. Jesus has come sot that everyone might have an understanding of God and His will. The question remains - will I (you) attract the Light and sow goodness and wellness of mind, body and spirit or will I (you) quest for other paths that lead into darkness of the mind, body and spirit. The decision is always personal and takes immense and diligent effort. Neither is it a one-time decision, but over and over, again and again. Leaving a damaged life behind and travelling into a new dawn, a new day is not easy, but is marked by dedication to renewal and seeking the Life of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. 

When Love Is Not Enough, Part 2 - Strength in the Olive Jar

Girls, Here is Part 2 to this story. If you haven't read the first part of the story go back read the beginning in my previous post. Follow my friend as she shares her heart warming story. There will be more coming soon.  Enjoy!

Strength In The Olive Jar...

 by anonymous

Whoever said that "persevering through life with good thoughts and a positive attitude would always deliver a high degree of success and happiness" obviously never experienced a divorce. I will never say that my life's prominent attitude was always positive and an effortless progression of my mental proficiencies. However, I have always believed that developing a behavioural tendency toward habitually practicing the mind with good, better and best would allow one's life to be permeated with great opportunities.

OK, OK. I admit it. I am a writer.  However, with that secret exposed, let's get REAL!  After a marriage in which I experienced verbal, physical, and emotional abuse, (during last five years of marriage) how successful or ready for the world do you think I would be?  Yet, my ex-spouse had no regret of abandoning our two children and me and with no concern for health, wealth, or about any of our tomorrows.  If I had been a "pickle in a barrel", I would have been at the bottom, bruised by the pressure of all the wonderful, great tasting pickles.  Lying at the bottom of the barrel would have been - me, stranded and alone to be discarded in the trash.

I just described the condition of my life during this stage.  "Trash".  At least, this is how I felt.  As reluctant as I am to admit my plight, it was no recondite matter-of-fact or no obscurity to the acquaintances that remained in my life.  With respect to my circumstances, I did regard my life to be important to my children and my family who resided in Louisiana.   Although, in spite of my diminished degree of significance in the world, somewhere between "this is reality" and being "completely bummed out", I knew that I had to find the strength to place one foot in front of the other and begin my new walk in life. 

Now, time to get a job.  My daughter's friend's mother was a Vice President of Nations Bank.  One day while my daughter was visiting her friend, they asked the mother if I could have an interview.  Fortunately, I had bank experience and it proved very beneficial in my efforts to acquire a job. While not the greatest job that I ever had, but I would be making $8.00 an hour as a bank teller.  WOW!!  Also, I began working at Lord and Taylor to help with my children's clothing needs.   My daughter had a car, so she chauffeured me around until my dad offered to purchase me a new, but small, Chevrolet from Ray Huffines. It was not my Lincoln, but I was thrilled.  Moving from our 4 bedroom, 3-1/2 bath house with a back yard pool and into a 3 bedroom apartment was nothing to write home about either.

Was I now ready to face the world?  Frankly and honestly, NO!  However, day-by-day, I began to make "baby steps" towards a small measure of success.  I had 100% attendance, I was good at accounting, math, etc., and I could exhibit a strong desire to work.  Actually, work became my new habitual ambition.  Confining myself to work occupied my life and mind while helping me not to reflect on my life's circumstances. 

It is now time to explain the "strength in the olive jar".  There were many aspects of my marriage that were as insidious as "black mold".  Such is the fact that my husband controlled all that was placed on the dinner table.  If the food before him was not to his liking, I was instantly and constantly reminded of the amazing culinary skills of his three sisters and his mother. At first, I could live with it, but with the gradual and cumulative effects of his actions, I grew very weary and resented being compared to anyone.  However, since it was his typical behaviour to compare me to many of my friends, it was extremely difficult for me to make and maintain meaningful friendships. I was not at a healthy place, either physically or mentally.

Despite all that I did not know about myself, I knew enough to know that I loved olives.  It would be a reasonable assumption and a brief moment before you conclude that my ex-spouse did not like olives.  At this time in my life, I had not purchased a jar in years.  Subsequently, my trips to the grocery usually concluded with me drooling over a jar of olives.  However, I could not persuade myself to touch them. Unfortunately, I had been conditioned to think that I did not like them.  One day, my overwhelming desire for olives began to be an insurmountable NEED.  I could think of nothing else.  So, I walked right into that grocery and made my way to the aisle with the olives.  I walked by them several times before I picked up a jar and held it for a few minutes. I stared at the olives as if the jar contained diamonds.  I began to cry.  The significance of this step in my life was like a magnetic resonance.  Removing that jar from my hand - no; and analogically speaking, it was the harmony on my score of music.

I was liberated, en-powered, finding me again and so much more. I had broken through my dark veil of inhumanity and fear of who I was as a woman. I could BE!  That first jar of olives was the catalyst to my new beginning.  Sometimes it is something just so simple that can inspire and move us into action and reaction.  A scripture that encouraged me to continually give God my life; Matthew 11:29 - "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  This is exactly the medicine that I needed to continue my new walk.  I needed gentleness, not abuse.  Understanding, not ridicule. I could go on and on.

So, OMG, well, where do I go from here?  I choose to see strength in a jar of olives and not be a pickle at the bottom of the barrel.  Tune in next time for my segment entitled, The Three S's.

When Love Is Not Enough, Part 1

Girls, you must read this true story from a friend who I met in bible study. The story.... amazing, her strength is contagious and her forgiveness from her past is healing for all of us chicks.

No matter what we may go through to make us the women we are today, there is a plan God has for us when we were born. We are all on a journey to be the best God wants us to be. We wonder why bad things happen to good people...but God hasn't taken us this far to let us go now. 

So...I will be making updated posts of her story as she writes from her heart. Sometimes we don't share our most intimate feelings for fear of people who may judge us. She is not one of those women. Confident, loving and successful in many ways, she exhumes the Holy Spirit who lives within her and within a few minutes of connecting our shared emotions, I asked her to write her story for my blog. Enjoy!

When Love is Not Enough...

 by anonymous

When I was young, I knew and understood that my value and worth in this world originated from a bond of love innately born within a solid Christian family.  As familiar as I was with the influences that moved me nearer and nearer to the inevitable journey of self-discovery and awareness, the realization that there are many "bonds of love" and family structures that are not coeval to my own was an astonishing discovery.  However, as long as my intrinsic value rested peacefully within my "bond of love", I grew to live, love, learn, and expect lifelong bliss.

As I continued through the journey of life and as I grew into "My Own", falling in love seemed the next logical experience.  A different kind of love than before, however it, if chosen successfully, should prove to provide the bearers with lifelong happiness.

After the wedding bells and after years of living under the impression that I would always be the recipient of love and believe in the ideology of happily married bliss, the roses in my garden began to fade.  If you asked me what happened or to describe my experience, it would be nearly impossible to express in words alone.  The "Eyes of Love" were altered and had become the "Eyes of a Stranger".  Life took a turn that was never anticipated or expected. A turn that led me into loneliness and divorce. While I remained in love, my ex-spouse moved on with the love from another.  And he moved nearly 2,000 miles away from our two children and me.

At this time, I am going to take a time out.  My emotions are almost too much for me to endure and express.

(I'm back)  So many memories that I would rather forget and erase from my mental dairy.  Memories that were never to be a page in my book of life.  But there they were.  Written, sold, placed on a shelf, purchased, and read - all in one step.  Also, loneliness, depression, emptiness, and friendlessness were never to be "MY" enemies. But they were growing with an incessant passion.  Regardless of how I tried, nagging and nagging at my inner mind and spirit, I could not fight the fight.  It was a pointless attempt.  I suppose that I could best be described as a psychological mess.

A psychological mess is an understatement.  During the last five years of our marriage, I was the recipient of verbal and physical abuse, abandoned in a state where the only family I had were my two children.  Who, and rightly so, were depending on me for their support, love and so much more.  To further my plight, I had not worked outside the home in over 15 years and he drove away with our only car.

So how does one react when love is not enough.  Where does one find reassurance when an empty "shell" would be an accurate description of their spirit and soul? First, I am a Christian, raised in a Christian family.  Second, the only place to fall was at the foot of the Cross, my cross.  Third, rest assured that there I could find the hope of a new beginning, discover a new life and fill up the emptiness with the Grace of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Since that time, I have found assurance through prayer and reading the Bible.  My favorite chapter is Psalms 91 and I read it over and over.  My favorite passage:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.  Proverbs 3: 5-6. I have repeated these scriptures at least 5,000 times.  It has helped me to not give into worry and the stress of life.

But I do understand that my story is complex, so I think it best that it be written in a few segments.  In my next segment, I will be happy to write about the "Strength in the Olive Jar". Until then, God Bless and Keep You.

I would like to introduce my friend Dr. Warren Katz to you. I have known Dr. Katz and his wife for over 25 years. He is an outstanding plastic surgeon with a good reputation.

If you are looking to do any permanent procedures I would advise you to get at least 3 opinions then wait a month before you make your decision. The doctor can make all the difference. There are many corrective procedures you can have done that are not invasive and you get great results. You can also get amazing results with the correct make-up and contour effects.

Dr. Warren Katz has been practicing cosmetic and plastic surgery in Dallas for more than 25 years. He is certified by The American Board of Cosmetic Surgery, The American Board of Facial Plastic Surgery and The American Board of Head and Neck Surgery. Dr. Katz has appeared in many national and local magazines discussing various procedures. He also appeared on CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN both performing and discussing cosmetic procedures.

I called Dr. Katz to ask him 5 of the most asked questions we get from our clients to help anyone who is thinking of different options for medical procedures.

                  

What is the difference between a traditional face lift and these "mini lifts" that I read about?
Dr. Katz: A traditional face lift is a procedure that involves lifting a large flap of tissue in the face and neck. The muscles below the skin are tightened, excess fat is removed as well as excess skin. Implants, either synthetic implants or fat grafts, may also be utilized.

A "mini lift" has similar incisions. However  the amount of tissue lifting and tightening is significantly less than a traditional lift. Therefore, the results are much less. Anesthesia is normally required for a traditional face lift. The anesthesia may be general or IV sedation. We prefer IV sedation (avoid general anesthetic). A "mini lift" can be done with only local anesthesia because much less is done. Surprisingly, the post operative course is very much the same for both procedures.

What is a "liquid face lift"? Does it produce the same results as a surgical face lift?
Dr. Katz: A "liquid face lift" is a process whereby fillers and neurotoxin are injected into the face to improve facial features. The results and duration of effects are, obviously, much less than with a surgical face lift. A patient should have both procedures explained before deciding on a particular procedure.

Does facial plastic surgery make you look unrecognizable or different?
Dr. Katz: No. Facial plastic surgery is designed to make you look rested and refreshed. Sometimes it is performed to soften a feature of your face that concerns you. With good surgery, it should not be obvious to others that you have had surgery.

Do only women have facial plastic surgery?
Dr. Katz: No. More and more men are undergoing facial plastic surgery. Today approximately 25% of our patients are men.

What type of anesthesia is used for cosmetic surgery?
Dr. Katz: Either IV sedation or general anesthesia is used for most cosmetic procedures, excluding very minor procedures which are performed with local anesthesia. We prefer to use IV sedation for all our surgical procedures. This is performed by an anesthesiologist. There is no patient awareness during the surgery. The patient is breathing on his/her own, and is not on a respirator. Normally this also eliminates post operative nausea and vomiting.