Strength In The Olive Jar...
by anonymous
Whoever said that "persevering through life with good thoughts and a positive attitude would always deliver a high degree of success and happiness" obviously never experienced a divorce. I will never say that my life's prominent attitude was always positive and an effortless progression of my mental proficiencies. However, I have always believed that developing a behavioural tendency toward habitually practicing the mind with good, better and best would allow one's life to be permeated with great opportunities.
OK, OK. I admit it. I am a writer. However, with that secret exposed,
let's get REAL! After a marriage
in which I experienced verbal, physical, and emotional abuse, (during last five
years of marriage) how successful or ready for the world do you think I would
be? Yet, my ex-spouse had no
regret of abandoning our two children and me and with no concern for health,
wealth, or about any of our tomorrows.
If I had been a "pickle in a barrel", I would have been at the
bottom, bruised by the pressure of all the wonderful, great tasting
pickles. Lying at the bottom of
the barrel would have been - me, stranded and alone to be discarded in the trash.
I just described the condition of my life
during this stage. "Trash". At least, this is how I felt. As reluctant as I am to admit my
plight, it was no recondite matter-of-fact or no obscurity to the acquaintances
that remained in my life. With
respect to my circumstances, I did regard my life to be important to my children
and my family who resided in Louisiana. Although, in spite of my diminished degree of
significance in the world, somewhere between "this is reality" and
being "completely bummed out", I knew that I had to find the strength
to place one foot in front of the other and begin my new walk in life.
Now, time to get a job. My daughter's friend's mother was a
Vice President of Nations Bank.
One day while my daughter was visiting her friend, they asked the mother
if I could have an interview.
Fortunately, I had bank experience and it proved very beneficial in my
efforts to acquire a job. While not the greatest job that I ever had, but I
would be making $8.00 an hour as a bank teller. WOW!! Also, I
began working at Lord and Taylor to help with my children's clothing
needs. My daughter had a
car, so she chauffeured me around until my dad offered to purchase me a new,
but small, Chevrolet from Ray Huffines. It was not my Lincoln, but I was
thrilled. Moving from our 4
bedroom, 3-1/2 bath house with a back yard pool and into a 3 bedroom apartment
was nothing to write home about either.
Was I now ready to face the world? Frankly and honestly, NO! However, day-by-day, I began to make
"baby steps" towards a small measure of success. I had 100% attendance, I was good at
accounting, math, etc., and I could exhibit a strong desire to work. Actually, work became my new habitual
ambition. Confining myself to work
occupied my life and mind while helping me not to reflect on my life's
circumstances.
It is now time to explain the
"strength in the olive jar".
There were many aspects of my marriage that were as insidious as
"black mold". Such is
the fact that my husband controlled all that was placed on the dinner
table. If the food before him was
not to his liking, I was instantly and constantly reminded of the amazing
culinary skills of his three sisters and his mother. At first, I could live
with it, but with the gradual and cumulative effects of his actions, I grew
very weary and resented being compared to anyone. However, since it was his typical behaviour to compare me to
many of my friends, it was extremely difficult for me to make and maintain
meaningful friendships. I was not at a healthy place, either physically or
mentally.
Despite all that I did not know about
myself, I knew enough to know that I loved olives. It would be a reasonable assumption and a brief moment
before you conclude that my ex-spouse did not like olives. At this time in my life, I had not
purchased a jar in years.
Subsequently, my trips to the grocery usually concluded with me drooling
over a jar of olives. However, I
could not persuade myself to touch them. Unfortunately, I had been conditioned
to think that I did not like them.
One day, my overwhelming desire for olives began to be an insurmountable
NEED. I could think of nothing
else. So, I walked right into that
grocery and made my way to the aisle with the olives. I walked by them several times before I picked up a jar and
held it for a few minutes. I stared at the olives as if the jar contained
diamonds. I began to cry. The significance of this step in my
life was like a magnetic resonance.
Removing that jar from my hand - no; and analogically speaking, it was
the harmony on my score of music.
I was liberated, en-powered, finding me
again and so much more. I had broken through my dark veil of inhumanity and
fear of who I was as a woman. I could BE!
That first jar of olives was the catalyst to my new beginning. Sometimes it is something just so
simple that can inspire and move us into action and reaction. A scripture that encouraged me to
continually give God my life; Matthew 11:29 - "Take my yoke upon you and
learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for
your souls." This is exactly
the medicine that I needed to continue my new walk. I needed gentleness, not abuse. Understanding, not ridicule. I could go on and on.
So, OMG, well, where do I go from
here? I choose to see strength in
a jar of olives and not be a pickle at the bottom of the barrel. Tune in next time for my segment
entitled, The Three S's.
No comments:
Post a Comment