Friday, February 28, 2014

When Love Is Not Enough, Part 4 - New Beginnings

Girls, here is the final chapter to the story. If you haven't read Part 1 & 2 of the story scroll below to read them. Follow my friend as she shares her final chapter.

New Beginnings...

When Christi asked me to write on her blog, I was so excited and thought it would be as easy as eating a large piece of Italian Cream cake. Well, now that I am working on the last blog, I find that I am experiencing great difficulty getting my thoughts out of my head.

I will tell you that my life is going great at this time. My children are grown, living in the area and I have four magnificent grandchildren. In 2004, I married again and we remain in love and enjoying a happy marriage. I have retired from Corporate America and work with him part-time in his/our CPA firm. My life is finally in a good place so going back in time is quite a difficult process.

It is no understatement that a divorce leaves one in an emotional yo-yo and wondering if life will ever bring any happiness again. With time and healing, the heart recovers or can recover. Unfortunately, there are other misfortunes that can occur in life that can leave other scars, and more unexpectedly, deeper scars. I would like to say that we are moments in time where no method to the madness of traveling along life's journey makes any sense or leaves us feeling like a "used up paper towel".

I am going to backtrack a few years and I will just get started telling you about the other traumatic experience in my life --- On April 29, 1998 at 5:13 pm while stopped at a red light, a 16 year old boy, (while speeding about 50 miles per hour) hit the left side/rear of my new car of three months; air lifting and trapping my car under a very large truck that was in front of my car. Since my car went under the truck, the air bags in my car did not deploy. However, I did not learn that until later because after the first impact and seeing only the back lights, glass and car parts fly beside my hear, I remember nothing until...

Let's just say, emotionally I have been to h-e-l-l and back (divorce) and spiritually I have been to heaven and back - literally. I remember an angel in the car with me and then the next thing that I remember is that I am watching myself on the street being revived by paramedics. This is commonly referred to as "an out of body experience" by the psychological professionals. Next, I recall an overwhelming feeling of love and peace. I was somewhere "out there" being suspended in time and I was becoming more aware that I may not want to go back down to that place where my shell of a body was laying on the street.

"It is not your time yet", was the next words that I heard spoken in the tiniest and quietest of voices. Soothingly, I felt my spirit slipping back into my earthly shell. I could hear the paramedics repeating over and over, "Please come back little lady. Do not go back, stay with us." There were two paramedics working on me and I wanted to speak to them and tell them that I could hear them, but I could not move or speak yet. It felt as though I was separated from them by a bubble of glass and as if I was watching them from someplace other than where I was. If I tried to move the glass and as if I was watching them from someplace other than where I was. If I tried to move, the glass would prevent me from reaching the paramedics. Once, the paramedics realized that I was finally "back with them", I fell in and out of consciousness. I was transported to an emergency room and the next year of my life was spent in and out of rehab, hospitals, etc. I was told that I would never be the same and was sent to Near Death Counseling, Change Of Life Counseling, and Pain Management Counseling. I had to learn to walk again and learn to give up many of the daily events of my life that I loved.

With time, I could write a diary or a book, but to avoid all of the details that really depress me, I now survive on four different medications and was left with brain damage, brain stem damage, and a neurological issue in my neck. All of which has left me with paralysis on the left side of my body and doctors are amazed at why I am able to walk as well as I can. Do not be so amazed because I do suffer more than I let on and must receive a lot of rest and recuperate daily from activities that an average person gives very little thought about. 

One might ask, how is all of this possible? Honestly, I have no answers for that question. This is what I know. God is real, He has a Son named Jesus Christ who came to earth to save me from my sins. Is it possible that he could send an angel to protect me from whatever could have been worse in an auto accident? Well, who am I to question His mighty miracles. Is it possible that He has blessed me and others with abilities that bewilder the medical community? Well, who am I to question His mighty abilities. I also know that He has given to each of us a measure of Himself to be able to survive the world that we live in. Who am I to question any of whatever or to whomever that He chooses to bless with a measure of who He is.

This is what I also know. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all of your strength and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways , acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." In Psalms 91, David writes about angels that watch over us and are here to protect us. Please take time to read this chapter, it is an amazing encouragement. And finally, Romans 8:28 teaches is that, "All things work together for good for those who love Him, to them who are called according to His purpose." 

I live life looking at the present and what I remain able to do and achieve versus looking to the past and harboring ill will toward others or events in my life. I want the future to be bright and sunny when I get there. I take care of the present to ensure the future is what you want it to be. Also, I do not have all the answers, but I sure can learn from what I have experienced and maintain life in a way that reveals truths of life that have been proven to endure the age of time and man's earthly endeavors.

Perhaps this was all about the end of a false persona, the new beginning into the true introspective of who I really am, and the introduction of the true and real person. To say it in the truest sense, I am HOME.

I would like to thank Christi for allowing me to share my life's journey and experiences. As women, we are a masterful creation in God's own image and not one of us deserves to have anything in life other than the best. This is what God desires for us. I know not what the future holds for anyone, but my experiences in life have taught me to say with all rationality and justification that the only way to a propitious life is to seek the Master and Creator of the world we live in. I think that I will close with this. He is the Reason, the only Reason and nothing but the Reason.